Thin privilege is never being embarrassed by your wedding photos.
I recently got married and am excitedly awaiting the arrival of my wedding photos in the post. To make the wait easier, the professional photographer I hired sent me a link to her online portfolio so I could see how some of my photos turned out.
But as I was scrolling past the albums of all the different couples, I started feeling embarrassed. Here were so many beautiful, thin, stylish couples in love. They were gorgeous. They looked like models out of a magazine! As I browsed through these strangers’ photos, I started thinking to myself: Why is my husband with me? He is a handsome man with an incredible personality. He could have any of the women in these photos! Why did he pick me?
And when I reached my own album, there was me. Big fat me. And I felt so ashamed. The photos themselves were beautiful: Very professional, gorgeous colors, wonderful lighting, etc. I couldn’t have asked for a better photographer. But I felt like the only thing letting them down was me. Big fat me. With my flabby arms, my double chins, and my chunky butt. I started feeling like I let down my husband by looking this way in our wedding photos.
This is why thin privilege is so harmful. Fat people are ridiculed, mocked, and bullied for our whole lives to the point where we start internalizing that hatred. We start thinking, “maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I should lose weight.”
And when I look back at photos of the important day of my life, instead of being happy, I’m embarrassed and ashamed.
This is an almost identical experience to my own when I got married in 2012. I also notice that a lot of other married couples I know have at least a few of their wedding photos framed and displayed inside their house, but I am still too ashamed of mine to do that.